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TOPIC: political science

political science 15 Nov 2008 08:03 #1

  • cynthia-jay
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Political Science for Farmers...

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the
government can provide cows for everyone.


REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk
the
other, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised
when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts
stating
you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent
quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives
to
milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.


FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
vote
for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think
is
the best-looking cow



CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.


as ever

Jay:p
Cynthia Jay
Horseshoer
P.F.E.
shoot first, ask questions later, dead men tell no tails, nor do they tie up the legal system or jails
Ray Jay
The Last of the Mohicans

Kid Rock - Warrior (Lyrics)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHzSBEVbXtM
[url]...
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RE:political science 15 Nov 2008 15:06 #2

I am not a
President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not
about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to
hit the mark.'
'The other day I was reading Newsweek
magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard
to believe. It must be true given the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent
of Americans are un happy with the direction the country is
headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the
performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the
citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So being
the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are
we so unhappy about?'
A. Is it that we have electricity and
running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B. Is our unhappiness the result of having
air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?
C. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these
unhappy folks have a job?
D. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a
grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than
Darfur has seen in the last year?
E. Maybe it is the ability to drive our
cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic
Ocean without having to present identification papers as we
move through each state.
F. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and
safe motels we would find along the way that can provide
temporary shelter?
G. I guess having thousands of restaurants
with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good
enough either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our
car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help
all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
I. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of
Americans who own a home.
J. You may be upset with knowing that in
the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained
firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch
equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your
family, and your belongings.
K. Or if, while at home watching one of
your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an
officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will
come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.
L. This all in the backdrop of a
neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging
the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell
phones and computers.
M. How about the complete religious, social
and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of
everyone in the world?
Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks
unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of
ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder
the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its
citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed
people in the world who do nothing but complain about what
we don't have, and what we hate about the country
instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president
who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The
president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is
this the same president who guided the nation in the dark
days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an
economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has
been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping
all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist
attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army
that is out there defending you and me?
Did you hear how bad the President is on
the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much,
make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for
yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think
about it......are you upset at the President because he
actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the
'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry
ungrateful behind every day.
Make no mistake about it. The troops in
Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many
cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no
draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are
able to refuse to go and end up with either a
'general' discharge, an 'other than
honorable' discharge or, worst case scenario, a
'dishonorable' discharge after a few days in
the brig.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in
the minds of 69 percent of Americans?
Say what you want, but I blame it on the
media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad
news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts.
How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The
media knows this and media outlets are for-profit
corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized,
try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in
one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a
murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he
didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done
it this way......Insane!
Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the
New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start
being grateful for all we have as a country. There is
exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most
blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a
day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.'
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud
slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the
country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird
flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good
time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'


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RE:political science 15 Nov 2008 15:16 #3

  • Rick Burten
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Just passin through~ wrote:
'Are we sure this is a good
time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

Yes. Never should have been put in in the first place. And, originally, it wasn't(http://history.vineyard.net/pledge.htm)
Rick Burten PF

In the immortal words of Ron White: "But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix S-tupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. S-tupid is forever."
."


Je pense donc je suis
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RE:political science 15 Nov 2008 15:20 #4

  • Mike Ferrara
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JPT,

Excellent points!

That's not to say that there isn't work to be done, problems to solve and improvements to make but if I could think of a better place to be, I'd already be there.

The "failed policies of the past" have made us the most free and prosperous nation on the face of the planet!
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RE:political science 15 Nov 2008 15:56 #5

AMEN!
What if we had not put an army in the hotbed and attacks had continued... that would be wrong too! (although that what Mr Clinton did and the media loved him--first trade center attack, god knows how many embassies and the uss Cole and he let it ride)
President bush stated from the gitgo this would be a generation long multifronted battle--apparently no one listened or just lack the juevos to do what has to be done.
JMO,
Jason
"Always listen to the experts. They tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it." Robert Heinlien
Jason Maki CJF, RJF
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RE:political science 15 Nov 2008 16:05 #6

  • Cyber Farrier
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Ya'll may have noticed that the title of this forum was changed to "Hoofcare Political Arena" specifically to focus the posts in this forum to political issues related to farriery, associations, legislation effecting farriers, etc.... This forum was not meant to be used for "general" political discussion. If ya'll want a general Political Arena forum again, I can set that up, but if it digresses into theological discussions again, I'll delete it in a New York second. Your choice. Express your desire by using the PM function.

Baron
“Suppose you were an ******. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
- Mark Twain

“There is no distinctly native American criminal class... save Congress.”
-Mark Twain

“No man's life, liberty, or property is safe...
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